bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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