Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
