Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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