My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
