Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
