Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
