He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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