It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
