Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize