He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
