i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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