Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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