Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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