They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
