508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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