bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
