I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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