He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He shit in the fireplace
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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