3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
