God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The struggles of a small town man whore
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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