Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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