I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
