Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
