That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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