It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize