"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
