Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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