my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
