It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
