i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
