I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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