woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
