I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize