i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
