Don't make out with my wife yet
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
