I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize