Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
