new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
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i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
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I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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