Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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