i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
