ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
