Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
