I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
White coat. Heels.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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