love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
