It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
