I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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