I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
