I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
third nipple confirmed
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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