Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
