girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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