Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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