I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize