We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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