belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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