Hey man sorry I got all grabby
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
