How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
