I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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