Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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