We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
