Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
