would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
