a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
