Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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