found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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